Shooting PHYSICAL: Letting It All Hang Out in a Best Seller

For Superior Video’s second big-budget epic, I did what any right-thinking pornographer would do: recycle past porn.  But that opened up a good news-bad news conundrum.

The good news: After 3 years of porno-making I had a lovely library of  licentiousness.

The bad news: I had to make the old footage fit into a story that disguised the fact that it had been used before. So I came up with…(drum roll)…The Erotic Olympics!

I wanted that as a title, but Superior’s co-distributor, Select-A-Tape, was itching to use Physical.

So Physical it was.

flyers and book cover 015Plot: A married couple puts an add in a skin magazine seeking  entries from amateurs for their contest, The Erotic Olympics. They offer a grand prize of $50,000. The couple plans to use the contest entries in a new porno without actually awarding the prize.

The magazine publisher (Juliet Anderson) figures out their scam and demands that they come through with the actual prize money. They don’t have the cash, so they enter the contest themselves, determined to win.

b & w pictures from authorhouse 024
Juliet Anderson, Billy Dee

(Note: Graphic descriptions of sex acts are reserved for the pages of SKINFLICKS.)

b & w pictures from authorhouse 023
Linda Shaw, Herschel Savage (between Linda’s legs), me (with camera), Juliet Anderson, soundman

I made my porn debut in Physical–pants on, no sex.  But I did take my shirt off.  (After seeing my image on video, I immediately signed up at Fitness USA.)

Maybe it was the humongous list of stars (mostly gleaned from past porns) or the hot cover photo  (in flyer above), that made Physical one of the best-selling X-rated tapes of 1982.

Superior’s general manager Joe Farmer and I had fun with the script.  He had one of the contestant entries coming from his home town in Massachusetts.  I had the scamming couple (Herschel Savage and Linda Shaw) hailing from “beautiful El Culito, California.”

To Anglo ears, that sounded like a plausible place.  But Hispanic viewers would get a chuckle: “El Culito” means “The Little Asshole.”

Next post: Superior Video Shoots Its Wad Big Time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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David Blander

David Blander had had many careers. As a director, he made commercials for clients such as Magnavox, the State of Michigan, Clark Equipment and Amway. As a video engineer, his biggest accounts were the underworld porn kings who pioneered the home video revolution of the 1980s. When California legalized medical pot in 1996, he developed a trophy-winning strain that he distributed to northern California dispensaries—until Feds and local sheriffs busted his grow-op warehouses. Now retired, Blander is beginning another career: writing. Plato said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Blander’s professional history gives his life plenty to examine.

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